Aloha

I got a tonne of those.
Like this guy was a real jerk.

INSTALLATION OF PC

JERK :- "Where's the modem?"
Me :- "You told me that you wanted this computer broadband ready. That is you have network card"
JERK :- "But I thought all computers came with a modem."
Me :- "You gave me a list with all the brands and model number for all the parts that you wanted. A modem was not one of them."
JERK :- "But don't all computers come with a modem as standard?"
Me :- "No. I don't have a modem on my computer at home. And why would you need a 56K modem if you are going to get CABLE instead"
JERK :- "But how am I going to get onto the internet?"
Me :- "Why not use your old external 56K modem?"
JERK :- "But I don't want to use my external modem"
Me :- "Fine, another $45 dollars please, I will install a modem for you"
JERK :- "But I have all ready paid you $3000. I don't feel that i need to pay you another $45. Can you just throw on in?"
Me :- "No, not with the way you went shopping around with 3 other shops so you can price match me. Plus I am giving you free installation only because you know my family and that is it. $45 or no modem at all"

WEEK END
Like here I am on my own time collectioning the remaining $45 from him.
JERK :- "BTW, could you tell me how to record MP3?"
Me :- (thinking :- "This is my week end here")
Me :- "I don't have the software for that here"
JERK :- "WHAT!!! You don't have the software with you? But you are into computers, I thought you knew everything about computers and that you would have the software with you all the time"
Me :- "I do have a life away from the computer. You might notice that all I have is my skate board and few comic books with me. You want some thing from me, you call me before hand."

NEXT WEEK END.
JERK :- "I am trying to find this soccor web site, it's on this google list, but i have this ERROR 404. Why is that happening?"
Me :- "Because the webpage is not there."
JERK :- "Can you fix it?"
Me :- "No. It's out side my control."
JERK :- "But you are a computer expert, I thought you would know who fix these things?"

DURING THE WEEK (phone call)
JERK :- "How do you connect your dvd player up to your computer?"
Me :- (thinking :- "Please god tell me that he does not want to do video editing. He only just mastered Media Player.")
Me :- "Why do you want to do that for?"
JERK :- "I don't know. I thought you were the computer expert on these things"
Me :- (HANGS UP PHONE)