Dumb user

[ShagDevil]

ok, here's my IT war stories -

- I had a very angry user yell at me because she said the MS patches I installed on the network had somehow erased all the text from a document on her system. I asked her to open the document up. Ok, well it was blank. hmmmm. Somewhat baffled, I asked her to scroll down the page a bit. Guess what was about 20 lines down? yeah. Her document. She had failed to mention that she may have accidentally hit the return key a few extra times before saving it.

- Another time I was getting sh*t because I was told that 2003 Server was saving a file incorrectly (it initially appeared that only certain changes were being saved). It was 2 users, working on the same document (at different times of the day). So one user opened it up, saw the changes. The other user opened up the same document...didn't see any changes.
So, whose to blame? The IT guy...of course.
Because somehow through my magical IT prowess, I was able to call upon the gods of I/O and in conjunction with my incredible ability of technical clairvoyance, I was able to conjure some ancient Latin IT voodoo monster that possessed this file...sigh.
No, in all reality, these people just had their file views on the same program setup differently. So one would see certain changes, and the other person wouldn't.

[Aardpsymon]

Stupid users...lets see.....got about 900 of them at work. (there are only about 950 people at work total)

So we have the department that frequently calls us to plug in her projector for her, even though it plugs into the same place every time, only plugs into one place and we showed them how to do it last week.

"none of my documents are in my area"
"thats a bit strange, whats your username?"
"<user>"
*quick admin power later \\server\user.... documents...different documents*
"who is logged on to this pc?"
"me"
"when did you log on?"
"it was logged on when I came in"
"so who logged it on?"
"dunno"
*ctrl alt del*
"well, this isn't you." *point to user*
"why does it have to be me thats logged on?"
"......"

"ok, to log on to the email service use your normal username and the password 'welcome' "
*watch user log on with username and network password*
*logon incorrect*
*watch user log on with username and network password*
*logon incorrect*
*watch user log on with username and network password*
*logon incorrect*
*watch user log on with username and network password*
*logon incorrect*
*watch user log on with username and network password*
*logon incorrect*
*watch user log on with username and 'welcome'*
*coffee time*

[Moira]

Haha

[Aardpsymon]

wellll, I REALLY hope this guy is taking the piss.....but I suspect our dumb user contest has a winner.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/04...ing_discovery/

unless he is disqualified for not being a user?

[nihil]

Even better!

The newpaper has a typo in the headline............... they put "warning" instead of "warming"

[gothic_type]

...except that if you read the comments on the register, you'll find that the person who sent in the letter frequently sends in ironic letters to various newspapers.

ac

[Morvai]

I have worked at helpdesks at different companies. There are actually two stories that stand out in my memory.

The first kept me laughing for a couple of days...
I got a couple from a user claiming that her pc had locked up completely. Apparently it did not respond to any input from keyboard or mouse, so I told her to turn off the pc. Apparently nothing happened.
So I told her to push the "off" button... keep it pushed for a couple of seconds and it should turn off, which in deed it did! I told her to turn it on again, waited for a few secs for the pc to boot up and asked her if she could now log on again. Apparently my "little trick" hadn't helped... The pc was still not responding?!
Coming up to her desk I she showed me EXACTLY how she had turned off and an on THE SCREEN... Turning off the actual pc had her up and running again a few minutes later.


The second story is so STUPID it actually pissed me off at the time.
We had a power outage in the entire building. And I got not one, but several of the following calls:

"IT support can I help you?"
"Ah yes, I have an e-mail that I need to send, but my pc doesn't seem to work"
"Do the lights work"
*silence*
"no"
"Does the pc next to you work?"
*longer silence*
"I'll call again later"
*click*

Apparently people don't realize PC's actually need power to operate :S

[MrLinus]

Hrmm.. best one I've gotten so far was a customer filing a critical case (as in their "production system down" kind of ticket). And the description was:

Why are all my files on the CDRom read only??? This is unacceptable.

And this is an admin of a huge enterprise setup.

[gore]

Seeing as how I just talked to my Mom and then read this again, I'll give one that involves Her and Her moron friend.

My Mom's friend Barb, who, even still, amazes me with the mis-understanding power posssible in the human psyche, once called me up at 10 AM, when I was working nights at a restaurant, meaning I got home around 7 AM, went to bed around 9 AM so I could be up by 2 PM.

Her question? "How do I delete something off the desktop?"....

Me awakened from slumber in anger: "WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?"

Her "No seriously I want to delete something, how do I do that?"

Me: *Thinking about that very famouse email that probably everyone here has seen about the power outtage*

Her: "Well?"

Me : "Well, do you have the box the computer came in? the original box with the manuals?"

Her: "Yes, should I open that?"

Me : "Yes, but first smash your computer into little bits with a hammer, mix with flour and sugar, and bake for one hour, while you wait you can read the free novel they sent with it about a Mexican prince named "Manual" and then when it's done, call that number saying tech support. They're people who are actually paid to put up with people like you."

Her: "That's not nice! and what would I tell them?"

Me : "Tell them "I'm to damn stupid to own a computer please come take it from me before my friend's son kills me in my sleep".

*Click* (I hung up, I know, I stole one line from Dilbert and the other from a supposedly fake email, but I was tired and used both just to make an example).

I was asleep maybe 10 minutes and my Mom called laughing Her ass off and said She heard what I did. Then, ASKED ME HOW TO DELETE SOMETHING....

*Sigh* "Mom, see on the keyboard there is a key that says "Delete" ? Good! click on something and press it. And if You're feeling adventurouse try right clicking and then selecting delete. Then empty the recycling bin"....

--------------

Part two:

My Mom orks in a big Hospital with it's own complete IT area. I STILL would get calls to fix the machines in HEr department because even though these dip shits were paid IT pros, I for free was faster at resolving calls....

She called me once to say an ER Dr laid his laptop bag on a keyboard and the Windows 98 Workstation screen was upside down....

I told Her the monitor was upside down and to flip it over. After She laughed I told Her how to fix it, but IT arrived early and told Her to do the same thing I did, and she was like "Oh, Allen said to do the same thing... Except it didn't take him 3 hours".

Needless to say I have quite a fan base in the ER. If TheHorse pops in here he'll tell you about the laugh we had that day, I was talking to him when it happened.

[Aardpsymon]

well, here is todays little one....

"my projector won't work"
"thats because your VGA cable isn't plugged in. In fact it isn't even in the room."

people not only think pcs run on thin air but that they can communicate with telepathy.